Some Great News!!!

I’m on a train in Spain. I seem to always find a time to write when I’m on transportation going from one long distance destination to another.

First and foremost, I’m in Spain. I went to Spain and celebrated New Year’s Eve and Day in a different country. That was an experience to say the least. Being in a new place with people you barely know - being part of a celebration that is basically revered all over the world - was something I never thought I would have experienced.

I feel like the month of December has been a whirlwind of events and happenings. Quite a few things happened that I feel you, readers of the blogiverse, should know. So let’s get to it!

Thanksgiving is dumb, but just before that, a guy I was talking to a few months back, decided to send me a message looking to catch up. I met this guy online in September (let us call him Andrew), and we had a lunch date at a sushi restaurant. It was a pretty good first date as dates go, but at the time, I had my heart set on the guy from Philadelphia (did I talk about him before? Now I don’t remember, and I’ll have to go back and take a look). I really wanted Philly and I to work out, so I didn’t want to try dating anyone else. So instead of flat out rejecting Andrew, I just let it kind of fizzle out. I can’t say I ghosted him, because I would always answer when he texted me, but when he asked me out a second time, I say I didn’t know when I would be free and would have to let him know. Eventually he stopped messaging me, and I honestly thought he was just going to be a failed almost boyfriend and new Facebook friend.

It was a nice surprise when Andrew randomly started talking to me again. By the time he messaged me, I had come to realize Philly was never gonna happen, so I figured, why not give this new guy a shot? I’ve got nothing to lose. We messaged. And messaged. And messaged. For three days straight, from 10 AM to 10 PM, we talked to each other. What we talked about, I don’t really remember. I believe when we started, we were talking about his ferret, which he had recently put to sleep because of cancer, but after that, we talked about anything and everything. The day after Thanksgiving, he told me he was going to a video game competition. He thought it sounded nerdy, but I thought it was cool, and when he asked if I wanted to go, I said yes. I imagined it would be a new experience, something that I might not ever do again, but at least I could say I went out of my comfort zone.

Andrew kissed me for the first time that night. We were sitting in his car before going in to the venue, and he looked at me from across the car. I could tell he wanted to kiss me the entire time we were in the car, so it was really great when he leaned over his console toward me and kissed me. I hadn’t had a good kiss in a long time. It seemed to be something I needed. He told me he had wanted to do that for a long time. As the night progressed, we would get closer and closer in the venue, and went outside every chance we could. We teased each other, but he kept saying he wanted to take things slow, he didn’t want to rush things. I admired that, but i still wanted to see how far I could take it.

During the competition, I met his friends, I hung out and watched people play video games, I talked to a couple of people myself. I was a nice time. We went out to eat with a whole group, and he drove some other people to the train station, and me home. I knew I liked this guy, and really wanted to show him. I won’t go into detail, but let me just tell you I didn’t go home until 3 AM.

Fast forward. Andrew and I have been hanging out, we’ve been on dates, I’ve been to his house and met some of his family, he’s been to mine and met my family. We were having a great time. He was invited to his friend’s baby shower, and asked if I wanted to be his date. I said I would love to be, and we went. I met more of his friends, a different set, and had a great time. That night, I slept over his house for the first time. It wasn’t this magical night, but I got to have sex before bed, and I got to have morning sex. It was an interesting feeling to say the least. It just sucked that I was sick.

We decided to spend the day in The City. He had kind of planned out an afternoon, but there was nothing definite. So we went to a place that we both would like - The Nintendo Store. While walking there, Andrew explained his overall plan. Before I knew the ending, I shot his idea down. He told me he was going to ask me to be his girlfriend while on a carriage ride. I don’t like carriage rides, which is ironic because I am the queen of cheesy love things. So we went to the store and he walked around and marveled, played video games, looked at the merchandise. As we’re walking around, I make a joke about being his Princess Peach. Andrew asked me if I really wanted to be his Princess, and I said yes. Ladies a gentlemen, readers of all ages, I HAVE A BOYFRIEND! I have an amazing guy that makes my heart pound, that gives me goosebumps when I think about him, that likes me for me, and makes me feel truly loved (even though it is way too early to be saying the L-word just yet. I’m pretty sure I’m in love, but that is besides the point). I think about him when I wake up and I fall asleep with him on my mind.

I’m so afraid he is going to wake up one day and realize I’m not this great person that he says I am. I’m terrified he’s going to find some fault in me that he can’t live with, that I’m going to piss him off so much, or gross him out, or something that makes him “realize” I’m not worth the effort, and that he would be better off without me.

Man, this is surreal.

So after all this was said and done, I still had a trip to Spain booked. I was still going to spend New Year’s in a foreign country. The main difference was that when people started talking about their boyfriends, I could actually input. I didn’t have to worry about what I looked like, I wasn’t looking for any hookups, and I wasn’t looking to snag myself a cute Spaniard. I could message someone every night that wasn’t a family member before bed and know that Andrew was thinking about me.

There is so much going on for this trip, that to start explaining everything would be too much. I think I’ll wait for the next post (and the end of the trip) to talk about the amazingness that was Barcelona, that will be Madrid, Granada, Seville and Malaga. I can’t wait to see what’s in store.

That’s it for this post. Until next time - I’m Charlotte Carmichael and thanks for reading!

Birthday Post, Because Why Not?

Ladies and gentlemen of the blogosphere, my birthday was yesterday! *plays party music in background* Happy birthday to me!! No, but seriously, I hate telling people it’s my birthday, so this is a big deal. At the same time, no one I know reads this blog, so I feel like I’m in the clear. I mean, I’m Charlotte Carmichael, an internet nobody! I get excited when I have one view of my page. I’m never going to be a Carrie Bradshaw, where people are waiting to read my next column. I’ve gotten used to the fact that I’m just another person writing my thoughts down. I’m just another millennial that feels unaccomplished and unhappy with my life, and feels the need to complain about my “problems”. But I digress.

A while ago I was looking at my previous posts, and I realized I’ve never actually said my age. I’ve always found a way around saying it. Why I did that, I have no idea! So guys and gals, I turned 26 years old yesterday. Phew, it feels so good to actually say it. But at the same time, I feel horrible saying how old I really am; I feel like I have too many “problems” for someone so young-ish, or that I care too much sometimes.

BUT ANYWAY! I’m 26 years old, and I see my birthday as my New Year’s celebration. So I make sort of resolutions. So what have I decided to do this year? I’m GLAD YOU ASKED! A few years ago, I said I wanted to stop wasting money, get an education, lose weight, etc. To be honest, all my goals are exactly the same. But one thing I also want to try is to be more social. I have a hard time keeping in touch with people, and I’ve recently been reconnecting with friends. I want to reconnect with people I haven’t spoken to in years. There’s no reason why I can’t keep friends for longer than a few months, or why I can’t be more than just Facebook friends. If I have to start traveling to make sure I see people, I might just do that. Plus, I get to cross things off my bucket list!!

My first stop is actually Washington, D.C.. As we speak, I am on a bus on the way to our beautiful national capital. I wanted to spend my birthday weekend away from the “beautiful” city I live in, and wanted to explore somewhere I hadn’t really been. There were some other ideas thrown in the ring, but my boss gave me this idea, and I never would’ve thought of it myself. So kudos to my boss!! And it just so happens, there are two wonderful young ladies that I met at a concert last year that live in Virginia, so it’s easy for me to see them. I can’t wait to spend time with them.

At the same time, I can’t wait to spend time exploring. I plan on exploring alone because unfortunately I did not have a special person to go with. There’s a guy that I’m kind of (actually super really) interested in, and while I had asked if he wanted to come with me, he was busy this weekend. So I’m going stag, and I’m not chasing him. But that’s a totally different blog post, one for a much later day.

Well readers of the blogosphere, I know this is a relatively short post, but I thought I would have more to say. I didn’t, but I know I should post more often, so here it is! Until next time - I’m Charlotte Carmichael, and thanks for reading! :-)

An Update and Some Loneliness

I have been wracking my brain for the last few days trying to figure out what to say in a new blog post. I know I have been neglectful, and I’m sorry. But the only thing I can up with is how lonely I am, how alone I feel. It is almost as if nothing is happening on a day to day basis. No big breakthroughs, no little things.

I should really rephrase that. There are definitely things happening. The first being that I got a puppy.

This beautiful little Shih Tzu is named Charlie, and she (yes she is a she) is almost 6 months old. Right now she is the love of my life, but unfortunately I don’t think I am hers (that title belongs to my mom). She sees me more as a play thing.

The second thing that happened that is of some importance is that I went speed dating last month. I started the night with a headache and the lowest of expectations, and I ended the night with a headache and a parking ticket. There were some nice guys and there were some duds (well a lot of duds really). In the end I only picked two people, and they both matched. I bet you can guess how those two matches went if I’m writing a post about being lonely.

So what else have I done besides play with a puppy? I went to work, I read on the commute to and from work, I played video games at night before bedtime (my sister has the Xbox hooked up, so I played Fable III recently. I was not happy with the outcome, and I’m this close to starting over and saving everyone’s life). I even started the spring semester at (insert college name here). I pined for guys at work that I have no shot at, and actually tried to flirt with people. I gained some of the weight that I had lost. I drank lots of decaf coffee. I let my nails grow, painted them funky colors, and then accidentally bit some of them off, but thankfully they grow back.

I think I’m done with this post because I just realized this is something else I do alone. And there is no one I know that actually reads this. So in a world of 7 billion people, I am once again... alone.

 

That’s it for this post. Until next time – I’m Charlotte Carmichael and thanks for reading.