Musings On The Way of My Internal World

So far this year, all my days seem to kind of blend together. It’s already MAY. These last few months have gone by so quickly, it’s scary. Probably because there is no variety to my life. Each week day is the same, with a slight change on days I have classes. The weekends have wither one of two things happening: errands or TV. There’s nothing that really changes the schedule.

It also doesn't help my happiness level. I’ve been trying to lose weight, and for a while, I was doing really well! I was a little away from my goal weight, but unfortunately I plateaued. So I stopped the heavy-duty dieting, and relaxed the restrictions I put on myself. Now I need to get back on that diet and exercise grind. I have an incentive to lose weight too. When I hit my (first) goal weight, I am going to reward myself with a new tattoo! I have a whole bunch of ideas. I may start a sleeve, or maybe another back tattoo. A collar tattoo could be nice (well more like the top of my shoulder), or even a foot tattoo.

Here are some ideas I have:
Radiohead lyrics
the rose from Beauty and the Beast (stained glass)
“Pure Imagination” (a concept from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory)
a fairy as a pin up (Actually, I’m only getting that if I ever make the show Ink Master)

I was talking to a friend the other day, and i realized I'm not happy, more than normal. i can't even enjoy a drink with a friend without being bombarded by internal thoughts and questions and what-ifs. For example, my friend is a very attractive young woman, and it would be fun to maybe get physical even a little, sort of explore my options. however, i think she is very much into men. plus, i'm probably not attractive to her anyway.

i constantly have to analyze my situations, try and figure out everything to see if i'm doing things right.

My dear readers, i apologize for not hiving as much to say in this post, or in my last few posts. i also apologize for not posting new and exciting posts as frequently as i could. it has been very hard for me to find something to be excited about. i have an idea for my next post, and hopefully i can get my thoughts across coherently. i also hope this next post doesn't take two months to post.

Until next time – I’m Charlotte Carmichael and thanks for reading.