A guy from my college years contacted me recently. Our relationship was... controversial to say the least.
Here is the background you guys need to really evaluate this relationship. But remember, everything is gonna sound bad.
I met him my sophomore year of college. I had seen him around campus, and I thought he was so attractive. I was (am) very shy and self-conscious, and there was no way I was going to talk to him by myself. Then one random day, I was eating lunch with a friend, and she took us to the table he was sitting at. I found out we had the same major, and we had a little bit in common.
It wasn't until a few months later that I spoke to him again. He started dating my friend, let's call her Sparrow, and they were the cutest couple. I didn't care that I liked him, I had no shot of ever being with him anyway. He dated these super hot girls ( Sparrow was good looking, I think definitely better looking than me. She was Hispanic so had those va- va-va hips and butt) and I was just plain Jane. But it gave me a chance to interact with him in a way that I never could before. I cried over a guy to Sparrow, and he was there and comforted me, kind of. We became acquaintances.
I spent the summer at school, taking summer courses. Sparrow was there as a summer RA, and he came back halfway through the summer for something or other. Sparrow went home for a week vacation, and he and I basically spent every waking moment together. He would buy lunch, I would buy dinner. We watched movies in a lounge together, and we became closer.
Things got a little odd after that. I spent the night in his room one night, and he and I hooked up. For clarification, we did not, I repeat, DID NOT have sex. What we did will not actually be spelled out, but clothes were never taken off. We never talked about it, and he seemed to almost forget about it, but I couldn't. This guy I had a crush on liked me enough to fool around with me. Obviously I never told Sparrow, and neither did he.
By the time the semester started, their relationship was doomed for failure (honestly it was doomed from about month 3). He and Sparrow broke up about 3 weeks into the semester. I was friends with both of them, so I would have had to pick a side under normal circumstances.
This dear readers, is where it gets slightly confusing. Sparrow had said I didn't have to pick a side. She knew I was friends with both of them, and she said I could stay that way. Now I admit, I might have slightly taken sides and hung out with him more, but in my defense, what girl wouldn't hang out with a guy she likes that has suddenly become available? And honestly I don't believe in Girl Code or whatnot. This is a dog eat dog world, and if the guy is a good catch, I'm going to go for him regardless of my friendships (sorry for the rant now back to the story). He and I ended up sleeping together, and a rumor spread that I slept with him. Sparrow found out, and I denied vehemently.
So much happened in the span of a couple of months, it's a giant blur. He and I hung out, we had sex one other time, and after that, he slept with other girls. Sparrow hated my guts, and had her friends hate me too. Petty high school stuff. It all came to a standoff when I was cutting his hair one day. He and Sparrow were texting, and he told her the truth because he wasn't going to hide our friendship. She came to his dorm room, and literally push came to shove. She pushed me, another RA was called, and the cops were called too. She moved out a week later.
I thought of him as my best friend. But what he really was, was a moocher. He would ask me for everything. He wanted to go somewhere, I drove him. He wanted to do something, I'd do it with him. People thought we were dating because we were together all the time. Even though we weren't, I wanted that so bad. He cheated on every girlfriend he had, and I was willing to look past all that. But all I was to him was someone that had no shot, but was kept around because he could use me.
Then he met Kathy. Kathy was 5 years younger than him, and just staring her college career. She had a boyfriend back home. Keep that in mind, readers. It's not extremely important, but something to take note of. I don't remember how they met exactly, but on the same day they met, they slept in the same bed together, allegedly no having sex. She had a boyfriend, remember? Well the next day, Kathy and her boyfriend broke up, and the day after that, she and he were boyfriend/girlfriend. I was a little heartbroken, but he was my best friend and I was happy for him.
Man, thinking back on it now, so much stuff happened in the four months of that semester, it's beyond comprehension. Thankfully readers, I am coming close to the end of the back story. Let's see, where was I? Oh yes...
When it came to his and my relationship, she was very jealous of how close we were. Any time he didn't spend with her, he spent with me, and we even hung out as a group. He and I started planning our futures after college, and one thing we both wanted to do was move to California. So what we planned was we would move out there, find an apartment and live together while I went to Grad school and he got a job in communications somewhere, and Kathy would move out there when she graduated. I found out later she hated the idea and thought I was stupid bitch for thinking he would actually move out there with me.
Right before the semester ended, he got kicked out of the dorms for having sex in his room. Now, our college was Catholic so this was a rule we had to follow. It wasn't easy to get caught, because honestly the only way to get caught would be to be caught in the act. I'll spare you the details, but the main point is he was banned from the dorms. For good measure, they kicked Kathy out for a week, and they put me on probation because (and I don't know how they heard this rumor) the administration heard I had sex with him, but couldn't kick me out since they had no proof. Since it was so close to the end of the semester, he had to find somewhere to live for a couple of weeks. He was able to stay at a friend's apartment until the end of the semester, and it wasn't too far.
However, like the stupid schlub I was, I woke up every morning extra early and drove to pick him up and take him to class. We were in most of the same classes, so it gave him a reason to actually go, and a reason for me to see him. I even drove Kathy around sometimes, which she actually thanked me for. It just happened to be during one of those me driving him back that he wanted to hook up. We didn't have sex, but what we did would be technically cheating on his part. I was the other woman, again.
The entire two weeks he was off campus, I went looking for apartments for him, I looked close, I looked far, and I couldn't find anything. He said he was looking, but I knew he wasn't. He was too busy sleeping with Kathy and reaping the benefits of him being my friend. When the semester finally ended, I went home and I barely heard from him.
Fast forward a few months to February. The semester had started again, and he never came back. Kathy was living it up with her friends, who by then had started to dislike me as well. I got so frustrated with them, and him, I confided in a friend, we'll name her Lizzie, what he and I had done in the car a few months prior. I was honestly thinking about Kathy and how he was so very close to hurting her.
The day before valentine's day, I get a text message from him calling me a "fucking liar" that I'm "making shit up" and it was ruining his relationship. Apparently Lizzie had texted him asking if what I had told her was true, and it took her almost three hours of talking to get him to admit we maybe made out. At the end of his and my conversation, where there was lots of cursing, he told me to "keep my fucking mouth shut". After that I would do anything in my power to make Kathy see that I was telling the truth and he was a scumbag. I never got that chance though. Kathy wouldn't talk to me, and believed every lie he told her. So I left it alone.
They broke up 4 months later, and he sent me a message on Facebook saying he was an idiot for picking a bitch over our friendship. We hadn't spoken since.
Readers, I know this post is long. It is a lot longer than intended. So I'm going to leave it here and continue in another post. Hopefully it won't take me a month to get to it.
Until next time - I'm Charlotte Carmichael and thanks for reading.
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